I think it’s fascinating that the two biggest sex centered conversations in mainstream media came out of Seattle. One being 50 Shades of Grey and the other is the Ciara and Russell Wilson abstinence “scandal”. These two stories couldn’t be more different….or are they? The primary theme running throughout all three Fifty Shades books (yes, I read all three unlike most critics) is that the main characters cannot sustain a relationship only based on sex. The MORE detailed in the novels is ironically the same thing echoed in Russell’s conversation with Pastor Miles McPherson at the Rock Church.
Funny enough the movie made $569 million in box office and the books broke several records and sold over 100 million copies. Pretty popular huh? Considering the source of inspiration for the series was the Twilight films which grossed over 3 Billion in ticket sales. The mainstream media’s obsession with labeling Russell and Ciara as weird and unheard of is a bit of a misnomer. Remember this is a story in which the male protagonist and sex object Edward Cullen proclaims that he won’t sleep with the girl of his dreams until marriage. That girl being Bella of course, who tries to tempt Edward at first but ultimately agrees to wait till marriage for their happily ever after to begin.
To all the pundits, naysayers and yes, haters who claim that not having sex is inconceivable. I have one thing to say, “I don’t think that word means what you think it means” (Indigo Montoya voice). It is 1000% conceivable to believe in holding off intimacy until you’re in a serious committed relationship. After all it’s in our books, movies, poetry and in us. The New York Times Bestselling author and matchmaker Patti Stanger has a very successful show on Bravo in which she stresses the rule of, “no sex unless you’re in a committed monogamous relationship.” No cries of misogyny or upsetting religiosity are thrown at her but for some reason people and media are upset at Ciara and Russell.
Is it because as some have stated its Ciara and Russell? It has been suggested that if Russell was dating any other girl these people would be okay with them trying to do it “Jesus’ Way”. These are true hypocrites of course who are always judging people by standards they have no intentions of following themselves. To all the people up in arms who feel so disturbed I want to point out something that I shouldn’t have to. Many years ago there was another woman with a baby who was all alone until a man named Joseph came along and her name was……Mary. And no I am NOT saying that baby Future is the messiah but I am sure his mother does think he’s an angel.
Ciara’s and Russell’s past history have no bearing on the decisions they make about their present relationship. And who are we to throw stones anyway? There are a lot of characters in the narrative of Jesus’ birth, crucifixion and eventual death. Be careful what part you end up playing. Are you Pontius Pilate, Barabbas the criminal, the silly King Herod, a denying Disciple, or are you a part of the angry mob? The Gospel is there to remind us that while they are many ways to do something “Jesus’ Way” it surely does not include being overly judgmental and prejudiced.
I am the last person to claim that our society only celebrates one kind of sexual expression but even in movies like, What’s Your Number?, Friends with Benefits, Don Jon, No Strings Attached and even in this new movie Train wreck. They may all have their protagonists start off with just sex but they always end with relationship. We must stop pretending that casual sex is one size fits all and we need to start acknowledging that freedom is not conformity because the truth is; freedom is the right to choose. Relationships come and go but if you want something MORE then you’ve got to give it some attention and follow that up with deliberate intentions.
When it comes to love unfortunately none of us can predict what will happen and no one knows that better than Russell and Ciara. Unpleasant things may occur but you’ve got to admit they happen a lot less often when you’re paying attention.